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11
Mar

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Ep 12: Relationships In The Office

Ep: 28 Transcript

What Is A Colleague Relationship?

Sharyn 0:33
Hello, everybody, this is Psychic Life Coach and Medium Sharyn Rose! Welcome back again to another episode of Medium Well with Sharyn Rose. I am really glad to be here today, I just got out of my Pilates class. And right now we’re kind of kicking around the idea of relationships and what’s going on in relationships. And in my work, I run into that a lot. And there are a lot of people that I really work hard to teach how to use their intuition when it comes to relationships. So today, what I want to talk about is one of those relationships that you might have, or even you may have a couple. But they’re not primary like they’re not that main guy or girl, or a parent or a sibling. But there’s somebody at the office. Now I’m not talking about an office romance. No, no, no, I’m not! What I’m talking about is that person at the office that may be just driving you a little bit batty, that just makes you feel a little bit crazy. Like you don’t know what you’re doing. And you’re not that smart, and nobody likes you. And when you spend any amount of time in their presence, you end up starting to feel that. And you feel bad about yourself, and you feel bad about your day. And so I want to tell you a story. I had a client who came in years ago, who came in to see me and it was really interesting because she told me, she said, You know, I love my job. I really, really love my job. And she said I work so hard too. She says that being happy, she said, and choosing happiness over choosing a negative. And she’s somebody that actually had to work hard at it because she had chosen previously to live a more negative lifestyle. So there were all these tools I gave her. And a lot of them are intuitive tools. There are tools about working with your emotions. Emotions are the language of the soul. And if your emotions are all down in the toilet, or in the dumps, or feeling really you’re feeling really bad, then you’re pulling your spirit down as well, you’re not, you’re not very enlightened, at that moment. You’re feeling really drab and dragging yourself. Anyway, she said I love my job. But she says, You know, I get to work in the morning, and by the time I get to my office – and she had quite a drive to go to work too. So she would drive, she said, I have the music on and singing all the way to work. I’m all happy. But by the time I get to my office, I feel awful. And I thought about it for a minute. And then intuitively I kind of went to her office I just sort of went to her office energetically and kind of scoped out the office that she was in. And I realized that she always had to walk by the reception area. – of course, most people do in their offices, don’t they – had to walk by the reception area to get to her office. And so I asked her, I said, What time does your receptionist come in? Oh, she said, she’s always there when I come to work when she’s always there. She’s one of the first ones and I think she unlocks the door. And I said oh, and I said well, what kind of personality does your receptionist have? She said, well, she sort of started laughing. She said, Well, I gave up saying good morning to her because she’s always in a bad mood. And she never says good morning back. And if you do engage in a conversation with her at any point, all she does is complain about either her husband or she complains about her car’s not running right. Or she complains about her kids. Or she complains about what she did shopping yesterday. She’s always complaining about something. And she said, So I tend to just kind of walk by her. And I might say good morning, maybe, but I don’t tend to engage with her. What this woman didn’t realize because she was quite empathic – my client – what she didn’t realize was that she was picking up on that vibe every time she walked by the receptionist’s desk. She wasn’t really aware of how sensitive she was or how vulnerable she was to other people’s emotions. You get that? I bet you get that. I bet you’re all feeling that. And you know, it doesn’t matter what kind of a psychic you are, what kind of an empath you are, what how intuitive your intuition works. Some people their intuition works from their heart center. So they feel things around them and other people it works from their brain center, their cognitive center. So they’re actually, they know things around them. They get data downloads, they get information. And in her particular case, she was a Feeler. She was one of these people that could feel the energy around her. So of course, she’s picking up on the cranky emotions of the receptionist. She knows she’s cranky, but she can’t get to her office without going by the receptionist’s desk. And I thought, well, gosh darn! You know, there’s got to be a way for this girl to be able to go to work and have a really, really good day. So here’s what I did. Now, you have to be prepared. When you take any action to create a better life, be prepared for fallout with other people around you. If they’re not on the same journey you’re on – just be prepared for someone. I’ll explain what that means.

Co-workers working together

How Do You Deal With A Negative Coworker?

We started talking a little bit about the receptionist and more of the story came out. How people really always tried to avoid her because she just wasn’t a pleasant person to be around. So I said, You’re not the only one that has that problem. She says, oh, no, everybody has that problem. So I said to her, I said, I want you to do something. If you feel brave, I want you to do something. And you guys can do this same thing too. You always hear about generosity, and generosity, how it makes the spirit grows, the Spirit makes you feel good about yourself. Well, this is kind of following along with that idea. So what I told her to do, I said, I want you to go and buy a flower. I don’t care what kind. It could be a rose, it could be a daisy or whatever is in season at this time of year, whatever time of year, you choose to do this. Buy a flower, put it in a really cute little bud vase, or a little vase for a little flower and put a little card with it that’s just empty, there’s nothing in it just that just says maybe something like, “you’re appreciated”, or, “you’re terrific”. And put her name on the card, and don’t sign it. Okay, now, this is important, don’t sign it. And you’re not telling anybody you’re doing this, you’re not telling a soul that you’re doing this. And when she’s not at her desk, maybe when she’s away for lunch one day. And when nobody else is going to catch you, put it on her desk, put the car to the flower on her desk, and then walk away. And just know in your heart that when she gets that she’s going to have a better day. Now, it might only impact her for five minutes, because she already has the reception is already has built a lifestyle of negativity, she lives that way. You know she does, because every day is the same for her. So my client did this. And she came back for another session with me and she was so excited. And she said, Oh, I absolutely loved doing that. It made me feel so good. And so now when she was going to the office, all she could think of was putting that flower on her desk. And she walked by the receptionist, and she would just smile, because she felt good! She had created an energetic forcefield, literally through joy. And through doing something that was extremely generous, she had created this energy barrier, that didn’t matter how cranky the reception is got, she couldn’t affect her. There was just she was just immune. And that’s what you want to get to! That’s where you want to be! But you have to learn how to engage your intuitive self. And you have to learn how to step up and do things that really come from the joyful place of view.

How Should One Handle Difficult And Negative Coworkers?

Well, the long and the short of it is, one day my client came in. And it was I don’t know, maybe a month later after she’d had this experience. And we both forgotten about it, well, I’d forgotten about it. We were talking about something else. We’re on to some whole new story. But she came in and she said, By the way, I got news for you today. I said, yeah, what’s that, and she said the receptionist quit. I was like, What? Why? Her husband got to transfer and so she had to leave, because her husband’s been transferred out of the office. And she’s going to be looking for work elsewhere in a new a new city. But she ended up leaving. And so a new receptionist was being hired. Somebody that was very pleasant, somebody that would really treat the public properly, would be great to the clientele and be great to the staff as well. Do you think that the energies of the universe, do you think they work that way? Do you think that the universe has your back when it comes to things like this? You know, there’s this old expression – and it’s a religious expression actually, it’s from the church – that says God helps those who help themselves. I firmly believe that, only I don’t use the word God, I use the universe, the source, whatever else. But if you want to use God go for it! …helps those who help themselves. What did she do, she helped herself reach a place of joy. And she did it by offering joy to someone else. That is the most generous way to live your life on this planet.

How Do You Deal With A Romantic Relationship At Work?

And now it’s a really good time to really think about our relationships at the office and relationships with people that you aren’t significantly involved in. Another place would be maybe the gym. I got in from Pilates today. And I was thinking about some of the characters that I’ve met at the gym – some of the women and the men that go to the classes that I attend – and it is set up class wise. So I have a particular hour that I go every day, which is good for me, it works for me. But I’m slowly meeting some of the other people that come out to the gym. And I like the idea that they really don’t know who I am. They don’t know who I am. They don’t have a clue. All they know is that I’m the person on the reformer next to them working out, and that I get the giggles, or we have a brief exchange. Or, hey, good morning, how are you to them, to the instructor. But that’s it. When I get in my car, I’m gone. Nobody knows my story. They don’t know who I am. They don’t know where I live. And those are different kinds of relationships. You’re not really having to engage your intuitive aspect with those kinds of relationships. I do anyways. I’m always reaching out to see what kind of character is that’s next to me. So that I can know where the boundaries are. And there is one particular person in this group that I don’t interact with, because, not because I don’t like her, but because she is a very private person, and she likes to have her space to herself. Intuitively, I know that now somebody else might bumble into that space. And she may make a new friend, I don’t know. But I just know that that’s not her way. She doesn’t really want to have a lot of exchanges with other people. However, she works out. And we still exchange a few words here and there. But that that’s it, that’s all there’s not much else. So could be somebody at the gym, it could be somebody at the office, but you know, the office relationships, those are big in the sense of not that they’re significant to you in regards to the amount of interactions they have in your personal life. But the fact is, you’re with those people a lot! Especially if you work in an office environment where you’ve got a lot of variety of characters and personalities in the office. So if you have somebody at the office that just drives you bonkers, and they’re really negative, or they seem really down or they’re always really sad, instead of just going to the watercooler and talking about them with the other guy that sits on the other side of them. And you, both of them just complain to you, just complain about their bad attitude, do something like the flower or maybe buy them a muffin or get them a latte and put it on their desk. Or even do something new! Use your imagination! Be creative! And I think that the most important aspect of this whole exercise is, yes, you’re making a difference to somebody else. But how are you making a difference to yourself? And that joy elevates you and it helps you tap in more strongly and more firmly with your intuitive aspect. And your intuition then becomes much more honed about regarding reading people and understanding people and being able to kind of not have to spend a lot of time around “Negative Nellies”. And because toxic people are toxic. I mean, that’s just the way it is. There’s behaviours out there that are toxic that I don’t want to be around I’m sure you don’t want to be around them either. And so you can do that.

How Do You Deal With A Romantic Relationship At Work?

There is a story – an old story I used to tell when I was doing workshops, years and years ago. I was doing motivational workshops. And this was about a man who used to, there’s two men that rode the subway every day in New York and they were on their way to work. And every day they rode the subway and got off at the same stops. Got on and got off at the same stops. And every morning when they got off the stop, there was a newspaper vendor that was selling newspapers at the stop, and they got off. And one of the gentlemen always said, good morning, and bought a newspaper and the vendor would say, Oh, it’s not a nice day! Or he wouldn’t say anything, or he’d just grumble. And finally one day, the other gentleman asked the one that bought the newspaper, Why do you say good morning to him every morning? He never answers you. He’s never pleasant. He’s not a nice man. He’s not a good person in regards to the way he interacts with people. I’m surprised anybody buys newspapers from him. And I couldn’t be bothered to say hello and give my time to that type of person. Why do you say good morning to him every morning in the most pleasant voice? And every day you do the same thing and you buy his newspaper. And the gentleman that bought the newspaper, turned around and looked at his companion. And he said, Well, I say good morning because I choose how I’m going to live my day. I don’t let somebody else make that choice for me. It’s up to me how my day goes, it’s not up to him. He can be having a bad day. But that’s not my problem. My challenge is to have a good day myself. So I buy a newspaper. And I said, “good morning” because that’s what I want to do. And that’s the way we should live.

How Can You Tell A Narcissist At Work?

So make sure that when you’re involved in relationships that are not as meaningful to you as say, your siblings or your children or your husband, or those people – we’re going to get into those relationships as we move on each week. We are going to be talking about narcissism, the different levels of narcissism. Because narcissism has been really talked about a lot in the last few years. It’s really become a big, big word. But not everybody that’s being labeled by society is narcissistic. They may have narcissistic tendencies. But we all do. Narcissus was the guy that looked in the pond and saw his countenance and said, Oh, my, I’m so beautiful. And he couldn’t help looking at himself every day. He just spent all his time looking in the pond and seeing his beautiful face. And narcissists are about themselves are all very self-absorbed. But there’s different levels of narcissism. And I like to have a mirror handy when I’m doing my makeup or combing my hair. So narcissism exists in all of us. But there are the malignant and the covert and the overt and all the different kinds of narcissists that can really kind of cause damage to some members of our society, who are vulnerable. And those people that are most vulnerable to narcissists – heads up people – those people are empaths. Empaths want to make a difference. They want to help. And they are really drawn to the narcissistic personality because they come across as broken, and they come across as wanting to be fixed. They don’t want to be fixed. They just want to break you. But that’s not what empaths see. Empaths see a broken person, and a narcissist sees somebody that is willing to be their victim. So we’re gonna be talking about narcissists down the road too.

How Do Narcissists Behave At Work?

But for now, you don’t worry about narcissists or empaths or, or that particular level of relationship. I’m not talking about malignancy in the office space. Or you know, narcissism in the office space. At this point, what I’m just talking about is a regular person who’s just having a crabby day or a crabby life – you can do something to cheer them up. In the meantime, just see how that reacts on you, and know that your intuition is going to be better for it. And you, the empathic aspect of you, by doing something nice for them is going to just sing for joy. Your soul is going to be so happy. So until next time, give out a flower, give out a latte, do something nice for somebody! And I’ll talk to you again. Thanks for tuning in. Bye-bye.

Jennifer Gunson 15:49
Thank you for listening to another episode of Medium Well with Psychic Sharyn Rose. If you love hearing Sharyn’s stories and her advice and want to work with her, all you have to do is go to her website, SharynRose.com. That’s Sharyn with a “Y”. And if you want to enroll in her next session of Kitchen Witchen, which of course is starting in the new year, January 3rd, 2022. Well, registration is now open! You can find more information on how to register on our website, kitchenwitchen.ca. Talk to you next time!

Transcribed by https://otter.ai