Ep: 54 What family means to you?
Ep: 54 Transcript
Intro
Jennifer Gunson 0:04
What’s the upside of family in your life? Do they love and support you? And do you do the same for them? Listen in as Sharyn talks about the positive sides of both the genetic and heart family. Does your world include the power of a strong family in both good and bad times? Well, you always deserve the best and make sure you reach for it. Let’s find out more from Sharyn right now!
What is the importance of family time?
Sharyn 0:35
Hey everybody! Welcome back to Medium Well with Psychic Sharyn Rose! You know, something we just came through – the Labor Day weekend. And while we did, my children live about an hour and a half south of us, and some of my other family live about an hour and a half north of us. And so my sister was going to the hour and a half north of us to visit her daughter, and she was with her other daughter and had her grandkids there. We went south to see my son and the grandkids and visit my daughter-in-law and visit with family there. And my other son was camping – he and his partner were camping with his father and wife. So, my ex-husband – we’re all good friends, and we’re all close. But I couldn’t help it. When I returned home after spending the weekend with my guys, my son and the boys and my granddaughter, who I adore, I loved them so much. And my daughter-in-law, who’s just like my daughter, I mean, she’s my girl. But I couldn’t help but stop and think about family and how fortunate we are. Even though in many cases in our family, there have been lots of issues around getting along and holding the drama and having the trust and holding loyalty and being able to be appreciated and allow each other into our lives and have good conversations, etc., etc. I had the best weekend – Labour Day long weekend – I think I’ve ever had! It was so much fun! And I realized that one of the most important things about the family is. And I know that my son Justin, his partner, my ex-husband, and his wife were laughing a lot. I know they were because that’s what they do together. It’s what we all do when we’re together. We did it while we were together. And I know my sister and her girls were all killing it too. Laughter, joy, experiences, adventures, doing new things, watching!
Why does baking make me happy?
So this weekend, I was able to sort of sit back. I got kicked out of the kitchen! It’s pretty funny how that all works. But my son loves to cook. He’s an excellent cook, and his wife enjoys cooking herself. And she really kind of plays a sous chef when he’s in the kitchen being the chef. But one thing we do have also is we have our granddaughter, who is 27. And it was just his daughter, Dan’s daughter, and Jess was in the kitchen. And both capacities, she broke down the chickens. She liked it after they were cooked. She’s just helping in all abilities. And she loves it because she works with food. She works in the food industry. So mealtimes for this part of our family are fun. And so we enjoy the food. And meanwhile, I took pickles, jams and jellies, and I baked a big dessert, and I take all this stuff down to help with the weekend, so we’re all foodies, to some degree. And the funny thing is, none of us are enormous. I know. We all seem busy enough that none of us are huge. But again, in stepping back, it makes me sort of step back and says, wow, you know the similarities in our characters and personalities; you hope when you start having children that the good that you know in life and the good that you experience in your world and your own life that it will trickle down to your children and then down to your grandchildren. It’s true. We learn through contrast, conflict and challenge on this planet. Humans don’t remember when anything’s easy. We know when it’s challenging, and we have to find solutions, but there is an incredible amount of joy that comes from finding solutions. Still, a reasonable amount of pleasure comes just from your personality, your character, and being able to work together with family, laugh, have fun, be joyful, and share the good.
What are the skills you learn from your parents?
How do you have a hard conversation with your family?
My oldest grandson is graduated now, and he’s working. So when he came in the door after he got off work on Sunday, I mean, everybody was happy to see him, even the people he lives with, you know, it was just so lovely to be able to hug them and have them all and be able to sit and talk and how are you doing, and how’s this going, and how’s car running and be connected to their stories be connected to their lives, and to be able to share all the good, all the fun. But the other side of it is being able to sit down and have some of those hard conversations that you know you need to have because you’re stuck somewhere in your life or you want somebody to share a piece of yourself with, and I’ll give you an example about that.
Why is family important during hard times?
I’ve been going through a few things myself in the last little while. And the people I’ve learned to turn to have been my family; it’s been my granddaughter, my son, and my daughter-in-law. And I cannot tell you the courage it gave me to bring up the issue in the area where I was struggling and have some tough conversations because I felt brave enough. I had courage. And I had people that had my back. And that loved me enough that it doesn’t matter what happened. They’re going to love me anyways; that’s family. And that might be your family from your genetic links; I don’t know. But it could also be your heart family. You know, those people you spend your time with that love you, support you and have your back. Because I know firsthand, not all family does that not all family is going to be in your corner. Not all families are looking out for your best interest. And sometimes, there comes a place in time as you grow up where you have to step away from toxic people. You have to find other people that will fill those gaps and be able to build strong relationships elsewhere so that you’re not constantly fighting against a toxic tide, where you can say, Wow, I have such positive, fabulous people around me, even when I’m having a down day when I want to talk with them or have a conversation with them, they cheer me up, they make me feel good. Instead of the people where you’re having a perfect day, you walk in the room, and all they do is complain and whine, and whimper and, sometimes, put you down, and your own self-esteem goes for a tumble. And because I’ve had both, I’ve got the positive and the transformational and the growth and the adventures constantly around me with my sister and our girls, my both my boys with my ex-husband and his wife and with my grandkids to be able to have that and be able to know I’m never going to be alone. I’m always going to have people that will have my back and the people on the other side of it that stepped away from a toxic, really hostile powerful place and are no longer active in my experience. That’s okay too. Because if you look at family, the family dynamic of Clan, as we call it, a lot of times in my work, you look at that dynamic. And you can appreciate the brokenness too. And you can say, what did I learn from that? Where did they go? What was the value in that for me, this is a divinely ordered universe, you guys. There are no mistakes. Everything that happens in this world has a purpose. Everything. Everything! Don’t even try to tell me differently because it’s true! And we are the creators of our reality. So if we have an experience with a toxic family member, the interactions are harmful, sad and always depressing, and the stomach ache-inducing conversations are never happy. And you know, they don’t have your best interest at heart. It’s okay to step away. But the most important aspect of stepping away is being able to sit down first and say – not with them because that won’t work – but if they’re toxic, they’re harmful. That’s their story. And that’s their choice. But to sit down and say, what do I know now that I wouldn’t have learned without this person
What are the benefits of loving someone?
Give an example. I don’t struggle to make friends. I love having people around me at times, and making friends is easy. We went to watch out for ballgames. We bought season passes for some of my goals ball team, a Western Conference. If you haven’t got tickets for fall, you guys get them. It’s worth it. It’s the best league ever, anyways. So we went to a lot of ballgames, and we travelled with a couple of friends of ours back and forth, and great conversations and solutions seeking, and I’ll be their friends, we’ve been friends. Meanwhile, at the ball, the diamond was sitting, you know, together, Karen and I sat, Jim and Dave sat together and, and there were other people around us that we got to see because we had season tickets, and they did too. And there’s one particular lady; her name is Mary. And Mary was talking one day we got chatting, and you get to know people, and her husband was there. And Mary was talking about making this marathon cycling trip that she likes to do marathon biking. And I, meanwhile, am working hard to try and get back to my core self physically. And we got talking and found out both of us are terrible procrastinators regarding our well-being. And so I got an idea. One day we went before we went to a game, and I thought, I need to talk to Mary. And I did. I took her aside and said, Mary, have you got an accountability buddy? She said, What do you mean, what’s happening? I said, is somebody you can actually call up, talk to, text, and keep in touch with to share your goals and visions in regards to the area you’re talking about? In our case, fitness and getting healthy for me and her getting trended down, and in shape, for the marathon she’s got coming up in Nashville. And we agreed to be accountability buddies. Now our relationship is a ball. It’s where we met. And it’s accountability. But we have, since the end of the ball season, been in touch every week, and we support one another! We back each other up. She’s becoming family. She’s becoming that person because we don’t sit around and have a relationship outside of our accountability buddy system and/or ball. And so it’s straightforward for us to support one another. And it’s short for us to have these high-flying conversations that you have with people we care about. And thus, somebody else new added to the group that you have around you that you know has got your back because you become friends, and you become friends through the adversity that you’re dealing with. For both of us, we find ourselves really engaging every week in the goals we’ve set. Whereas prior, we tended to put it off, put it off, put it off, and I love it. But that’s a good example. So then I take my experiences that I’m having, and I’m enjoying the interactions with Mary, and I sit down with my family, and we’re yakking away. I start telling them about my accountability buddy. And she becomes a part of their experience and
So when I’m talking about heart family, I’m talking about the people that are not genetically connected to you but come in through your heart space. Mary and I were supposed to meet for whatever experience, for whatever reason, for whatever adventure. And we were supposed to become accountability buddies. And it’s working. I’m making significant progress. And she turned me on to a workout program that I would never have found without her, which is… I love it so much. So I guess I, I know, there were a lot of people that we talked a lot about family. And I’ve made lots of I’ve posted some podcasts on family, you know, like the one on the narcissistic mother and negative family. What do you do when you go to family get-togethers, and there’s the crabby person there? You know, I’ve talked a lot about those kinds of things. But we don’t often talk a lot about the positive, the joyful, the beautiful, the wonderful and the things that we have that we value so much that it makes us smile or get out of bed in the morning. I mean, when I have a Zoom meeting with anybody in my family, I love it so much. And my granddaughter and I do that all the time. We’re always sitting and having great zoom chats. My son’s… oh my gosh! And my grandkids and my daughter-in-law. They’re people that have helped shape my world. My daughter-in-law came up, and we went shopping, and she spent the weekend. Not this past weekend, that weekend before two weeks, two weeks ago. And it was terrific fun. We were able to go and do stuff. We spent a lot of time in Costco and had a good time going out for lunch. It was just incredible. And that’s family. That’s family. The people that you choose to do those things with. I have a girlfriend who I haven’t seen for years. She lived in a different community than I used to live in. And her husband had gotten ill when I hadn’t seen her. And we figured it out. It’s been six years since we saw one another, but it’s probably been 20-some years since we’ve hung out and done anything together. And the reason for that is when I got married 30 years ago – I met Dave 30 years ago – we ended up relocating to Red Deer. And she’s still in her little town. And we just passed him across that she was working and her husband was working when we reconnected in the last month, and it was like, it was like, that’s heart, family! And the reason I’m explaining this is that it was like we had never missed a day. We never missed a beat. We could talk, we could share our stories, we could laugh, we still understood one another, and we could go walking together. She’s just amazing. And I love her with all of my heart. And I know she loves me. Unfortunately, since the last time I saw her before this reconnect, her husband had passed. So she’s on her own now. But she’s building a small community there as well of other women who are on their own, and they get together, and they all have their little camping trailers, and they go camping together. And it’s beautiful. And that’s how you embrace heart family, right there. That’s heart, family. And those people don’t matter when you see them or when you don’t know how long you’ve seen them. Since they connect, you connect. The more experiences you share with somebody, the more they feel like family and become family. But the positive! Because you don’t have to have people around you that are negative and toxic. So for those who feel you are living around a lot of negativity and toxicity, get out! Get away from that! It’s not necessary. Life is short.
What does it mean to value someone in your life?
In this past week, we also had a relative pass away. We had one of my husband’s uncles pass away. And when I look at these people, and I see the ages on them, and I know how old I am, and I know how old my husband is, and how my family is growing. And I look at the boys or grandkids; they’re all taller than me. I’m like, I’m not that tall. But still, it makes you stop and value the process of the day. If you’re going to be cranky, you’ll be miserable. And you’re just going to mope around and be all sad. And you’re going to allow toxic people around you to remember that as you think, so you are. So if you’re going to allow that to be, you’re going to be drawing into your experience more toxicity, sadness, reasons to feel bad about yourself, etc., etc. Surround yourself with loving people and build a hard family; if you don’t have loving people in your core family or genetic family, do whatever it takes to do that because it’s so worth it. And then when you have things like long weekends, where you manage to slip away from your tasks, and your jobs and your obligations and commitments and go and spend time together, it’s all worth it. It is just so worth it for everybody! And those are how you create memories. It’s also how you grow in your heart space. It’s how you become more aware, enlightened, and empowered to step forward into your energy and feel good about your journey. Because let’s face it, if you’re going to be miserable about your journey, why are you on the journey in the first place? I don’t think any of us came here with a plan to be unhappy. We came here if we were unhappy, generally, in most of our lives, I have had lots of adversity, but I choose to be joyful. I choose to be loving; I choose to enjoy my friends and my family. My Podcast Producer and I had a meeting today. She’s family; she’s filling in my heart space. She’s somebody I can, and we have some serious, downright hard meetings! Because there are things I have to do and she has to do for us to move forward. And we’ve been working together for over a year now. And those are the relationships, the positive. You got somebody at work that’s toxic; maybe there’s a reason for that, and maybe you need to find out what it is. You need to know from them so that you can change that dynamic. Either they step away, or you step away. I don’t know if I ever told you this, but I had a client – I probably said something about this in another podcast – but I’m going to do it again. I had a client who came to me, and she said she’d get up in the morning and feel so good and drive to work. And she walked into the office, and by the time she got to her office, she was in a bad mood to feel bad. She felt down. She felt sad. And I’m looking at it going; I wonder if that’s environmental energy or what’s happening. So I started asking her about the people she encountered as she got to work in the morning. And the first person, of course, she saw was a receptionist. And she would say, good morning, how are you and the receptionist was like a grumble, grumble. And this woman is compassionate. She’s very empathic, and she’s very much clairsentient. So she’s picking up emotions from others. So this girl at the reception is always crabby and always unhappy. So I told her as I said, look, first of all, you can’t allow people to impact you that strongly, but to make yourself feel better, to give yourself a jumpstart, buy a flower, put it into a cute little vase, get a little card that says you are fantastic. And then, when she’s not looking, nobody else is looking, so nobody sees, puts it on her desk and leaves it. Don’t say anything. Don’t tell anybody. She thought that was the most fun because that appealed to her clairsentience and cognitive claim. Clairsentience especially, they love helping others. They love doing things for others. So she did it. She got a flower, but a little vase. She got a little card, and she put it on. You’re fantastic. I appreciate you. And that girl was so confused when nobody was talking to put it on her desk. She went around the office to find out who did it and put it on my desk. She was baffled because she had gotten along with nobody at her work. She was always crabby to everybody. Guess what? Two weeks later, she quit and went to a different job. And my client had been working with this girl for like four years. Holy cow. Is that amazing? That shows how much influence you can have. Keep your world in order. Keep your family in order. Don’t feel guilty if you have to step away from toxic family members. Embrace the ones who embrace you and love them. God, yeah, like embracing puppies and kittens. Love your family, your kids, your grandkids, and your parents if they’re in support of your journey. Love them, and support their journey. If they’re not, step away. If you have cantankerous and nasty siblings, step away; you don’t need that. Our soul family, our clan family, and our genetic family are some of our best teachers through adversity, contrast, conflict, and challenge. Don’t forget that. So when you decide to step away from somebody you haven’t gotten along with for years and years, do it and give them a flower. And a tiny little note. I don’t mean physically; I mean energetically. Send them love. Send them a good feeling, send them appreciation, look at them, and try to find the things you love about them. And when you think of them, only think of those things. Let me tell you how your whole story will shift. And you’ll be so happy. You get up in the morning, and you will be able to stand yourself.
Why does laughing make me feel good?
Yeah, listen, I want to invite all of you. I’ve picked a card, which I do every time, and I always forget to tell you at the beginning that I’m going to pick a card. But I did like one I wanted to also before I read this card, I invite you to listen to us on Apple, and you can find Apple on the website; you can see that link or anywhere where you listen to Apple podcasts; I invite you to listen to the rest of the podcast. And the card I picked today is called the Road Runner to the Animal deck. And it says: Keep your sense of humour. Don’t take things so seriously. The boy, is that a good lesson! People will quickly tell you what a mess the world is in now. But is it? Is your world a mess? Are you happy? Can you be satisfied? Can you make that choice? Do it, do it. Until next time. Have fun. I’ll see you then. Bye-bye for now!
Outro
Jennifer Gunson 22:56
Thank you for listening to another episode of Medium Well with Psychic Sharyn Rose. If you love listening to this podcast, we have one little favour to ask you. Please follow us on Spotify, Apple Podcasts and Google podcasts. If you love learning from Sharyn, she has a few ongoing courses. Why don’t you register for Kitchen Witchen? It’s on now. All you have to do for more information is going to KitchenWitchen.ca. Or if you’d like to book an appointment with Sharyn for reading, or if you’d like to know more about Sharyn, her psychic services, coaching sessions and more workshops, go to: SharynRose.com. That’s Sharyn with a “Y.” We’ll talk to you next time!
Transcribed by https://otter.ai