Giggles and Chuckles for Friday 13th
Traveling down the interstate and needing to use the bath-
room, I stopped at a rest area and headed to the restrooms.
I was barely sitting down when I heard a voice from the
other stall saying: ‘Hi, how are you?’
I’m not the type to start a conversation in the restroom and
I don’t know what got into me, but I answered, somewhat
embarrassed, ‘Doin’ just fine.’
And the other person says: ‘So what are you up to?’
What kind of question is that? At that point, I’m thinking
this is too bizarre so I say: ‘Uhhh, I’m like you, just
traveling.’
At this point I am just trying to get out as fast as I can
when I hear another question. ‘Can I come over?’
Ok, this question is just too weird for me but I figured I
could just be polite and end the conversation. I tell them
‘No..I’m a little busy right now!’
Then I hear the person say nervously… ‘Listen, I’ll have
to call you back. There’s an idiot in the other stall who
keeps answering all my questions.
*————– Guaranteed Giggle —————*
My wife and I were sitting in the living room and I said to
her, “Just so you know, I never want to live in a vegetative
state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle.
If that ever happens, just pull the plug.”
She got up, unplugged the TV and poured out all of my beer!
________________________________
I sat with my infant son in front of the TV, hostage to
my husband’s channel-surfing. He eventually settled on an
R-rated movie in which the actress was soon topless.
“Honey, change the channel,” I said, shielding my son’s
eyes. “He shouldn’t see this.”
“It’s okay.” my husband replied. “He probably thinks it’s
the Food Network.”
*————– Guaranteed Chuckle —————*
There were two good ol’ boys from the South, who love to
fish, and they wanted to do some ice fishing. They’d heard
about it up in Canada, so they took off up there. The lake
was frozen nicely. They stopped just before they got to
the lake at a little bait shop and got all their tackle.
One of them said, “We’re gonna need an ice pick.” So they
got that, and they took off.
In about two hours, one of them was back at the shop and
said, “We’re gonna need another dozen ice picks.”
Well, the fellow in the shop wanted to ask some questions,
but he didn’t. He sold him the picks, and the old boy left.
In about an hour, he was back. Said, “We’re gonna need all
the ice picks you’ve got.”
The bait man couldn’t stand it any longer. “By the way,” he
asked, “how are you fellows doing?”
“Not very well at all,” he said. “We ain’t even got the boat
in the water yet.”
________________________________
We had built our dream house several years ago, and
furnished it with quality pieces as we could afford them.
Now the delivery truck carrying the last purchase, a new
bedroom suite, was pulling into the driveway.
“Finally!” I exclaimed, flinging open the front door as the
driver walked up to the house. “I’ve been waiting twelve
years for this!”
“Don’t blame me, lady,” he said. “I just got the order this
morning.”
*————– Guaranteed Giggle and Chuckle —————*
My wife and I were making our own funeral arrangements, and
the director showed us into a room in which containers for
ashes were on display.
After we looked at the choices, I asked my wife if she had
decided.
She sighed. “Yes, the wood-finish one, as it will likely go
into the ground.”
After a moment’s pause, however, she continued. “But I really
prefer the blue one. You know I always look good in blue.”
___________________________________
A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together.
After the man received the full treatment – shave, manicure,
haircut, etc. – he placed the boy in the chair.
“I’m goin’ to buy a green tie to wear for the parade,” he
said. “I’ll be back in a few minutes.”
When the boy’s haircut was done and the man still hadn’t
returned, the barber said, “It looks like your daddy forgot
all about you.”
“That wasn’t my daddy,” said the boy. “He just walked up,
took me by the hand and said, ‘Come on, son, we’re gonna
get a free haircut!'”